


The Stars Above Us

by luvsohn



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Character Study, M/M, i guess?? of sorts?? its just. well its something.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 07:16:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20596847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvsohn/pseuds/luvsohn
Summary: seungmin and felix sit under the stars; for now and forever.





	The Stars Above Us

Felix knows where to find Seungmin the second he comes home and can’t find the boy anywhere inside. He lifts the blue blanket that’s draped over the back of the couch and makes his way upward, taking the two cups of citron tea Woojin holds out to him as he passes, and heads toward the roof. He knows Seungmin will have most likely forgotten how cold it gets up there, like he usually does when he’s in this sort of mood. Felix doesn’t hold it against him, though. He plants himself down beside the other, tilting his head to gaze up toward the night sky. No matter how many times he found himself here, the stillness of the sky always surprised him. Especially because he knows if he looked down at the city streets below, the jarring bright lights and speeding cars would be vastly different. 

He glances over to Seungmin and places one of the cups down in front of him, before draping the blanket over their shoulders, shuffling slightly closer so it can cover them both. He takes a sip of his own cup, the sweet and hot beverage refreshing against the harsh winter wind. They sit in silence for a while, both drinking their teas. It’s peaceful and comfortable, something familiar. It balances out the hectic nature of their lives, a little piece of quiet in amongst it all.

“Nights like this don’t happen anymore.”

When Seungmin finally speaks, it takes Felix a moment to process that he’s said something. He’s unsure how to respond to the sentence, not sure whether Seungmin means nights where it’s just the pair of them, as they had both gone their separate ways since beginning college, or if he meant nights where they were free to relax on the roof like they used to. He turns his head, studying Seungmin’s face. He’s staring out across the city, the shine of the bright lights reflecting in his eyes. Felix wonders if he means something more -- personal. He wonders if Seungmin means nights were they can let their guard down, where their bones don’t ache, where they don’t have to put on a performance and they can just… exist.

“Yeah. We don’t hang out up here as much anymore.”

Felix speaks softly, trying to encourage Seungmin to speak his mind, knows how he can get trapped in his thoughts -- Felix’s the same. The world is rough and calloused; it rubs against Felix’s hope and empties him of spirit. Seungmin falls back, the blanket slipping from Felix’s shoulders and landing on the floor behind him. He tucks his arms under his head and glances at Felix out of the corner of his eyes.They stare at each other in silence, as if waiting to see who would move next, before Felix gives in and shuffles himself, resting his head on Seungmin’s chest. They lie like that for a while, Felix feeling the rise and fall of Seungmins breaths. 

“That’s not what I mean, Felix.”

It takes him a minute to remember what Seungmin’s talking about; the conversation had slipped from his mind already. He lets out a breath, a sigh with no grievance. Of course, he knows what Seungmin means. Ever since they’d been pulled in different directions, having formed their own friend groups, Felix hadn’t seen Seungmin much anymore. He knows they don’t blame each other -- it’s just the way things go. Felix had been too scared to cling onto Seungmin; worried that it would force the space between them to grow. They still hung out, of course, but rarely did they hang out like this. Usually their groups merged, thunderous and bright, a cacophony of light and laughter clashing together. Felix loved it; he loved that their friends got on, he loved that they still managed to find time for each-other, of course he did. But he still missed nights where Seungmin was his, and he was Seungmin’s, and that’s all that mattered.

“I know.” Felix doesn’t know what to say; he’s bursting with words but none of them fit right, all of them feel too sharp, or too soft. He needs something solid and gentle, something they can both hold onto. “I’m still here.” Is all he can summon, but it still feels weak. It doesn’t do them justice.

Seungmin barks out a laugh, not full of malice, but full of sorrow, as if he’s already miles away. As if he’s already found something to hold onto and he’s sailing away, leaving Felix behind. But Seungmin wouldn’t do that, not to Felix. He’s sure of it, he knows him better than anyone else in the world. Seungmin wouldn’t leave Felix behind, alone and uncertain. 

“You’re still here.” Seungmin whispers, as if it’s an assurance. Felix isn’t quite sure who he’s trying to assure. His head is spinning, he realises. He clamps his eyes shut, images of black skies and stars spinning around him. They flicker and disappear, until all that’s left is Felix, standing alone in the depths of the dark night sky.

Seungmin sits up carefully, but it barely registers with Felix. His head is swarming with the emptiness, the absence of stars enveloping him, overwhelming him. It fills his lungs, makes him feel heavy and he presses against Seungmin, as if trying to escape.

Seungmin takes his hand, runs his thumb over Felix’s knuckles, once, twice, three times. It startles Felix, a light flashes in the distance, small but certain. He focuses on it, focuses on the sensation of Seungmin’s warm hand holding his. He squeezes, faintly, swallows the darkness that’s lodged in his throat. 

“I’m still here too, Felix. I will always be here.” His words are careful, gentle. They are so entirely Seungmin, so entirely what Felix needed to hear. Seungmin has always been here. He will always be here.

Felix glances up to the sky once more, admires the deep hues of blue he knows are buried behind the thick clouds. He squeezes Seungmins hand and smiles. “We will still be here.” In his words he makes a promise; one he trusts Seungmin to hear.

I promise I will be here.  
I promise I will always be here.  
I promise I will always be here with you.

**Author's Note:**

> bro i dont know what this was. thank you for reading it regardless!


End file.
